I'm being blackmailed ... very quirkily

Amazing news for friends, relatives and associates! You're about to receive a seemingly very naughty video or two showing your host here at it. Well, sorry to inspire blushes, both admiring girls at it and him at it in the singular.

Very odd to report but I am being blackmailed, and if I don't cough up, my dear blackmailer will send on the incriminating films that apparently I would rather not see, and probably prefer friends, relatives and associates not to see, either.

 The blackmailing comes out of the blue, out of the internet where, apparently, a clever snoop has 'seen' me ogling energetically a porn film.

Imaginative observer, he says he's videoed me drooling over porn site girls busy doing what mothers tend to discourage.

 Even worse – or even more ghastly, I imagine – he watched my reaction to the naughty girls as, apparently, I performed what mothers warn risks blindness.

 Blackmailers of old covered their tracks so that the fuzz and the victim could never find them. However, this blackmail demand comes in an email. I presume the demand's address isn't real.

There will be clues

However, as Dr Watson would have heard often enough, there will be clues. And an outstanding one, in this case, is the price I am to pay. In its own way, it is highly unlikely and extraordinary.

The price for destroying the 'evidence' is $1,739. Yes, a dollar under 1,740 US smackeroos. Where on earth would the blackmailer have dreamed up that figure?

Yes, if he lived in UK, it might well be his broadband bill for a month or his water rates.

But if he might be a Brit … Continues on the blogs for my ocean adventuring book, Sailing to Purgatory, at  http://sailingtopurgatory.com/index.php/feeds/406-a-really-quirky-approach-to-blackmail