The great British porridge challenge

Who needs the Great Brit Bake Off? The divine cat's away this morning so the mouse must prepare his own breakfast. Not toast this time but the great

porridge challenge instead.

Madam's near-perfect instructions in Best British Bake Off style echo off the closing front door.

 First, take half a cup of … or did she say three-quarters?

Play it safe

Better to play it safe and make it a full cup.

Don't health experts rate brekkers as the day's most important meal? Stir in some, um, er … milk or water? Did she specify which? Mix in both, just in case.

 Then into the microwave with it and watch it very closely, as instructed. Only I can't see anything through the microwave door. After a minute or so, I open it. All's progressing.

Another minute, open up. Yes, looking very good. Just a few moments more. Drat, the phone's ringing.

Then I much change a word or two of the blog I'm writing.

Mud-like mix

I pause a moment wondering about the odd word for this mud-like mix: porridge.

The word rushes into my mind some clever lines from TV's Porridge scripts by Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais.

I smile, remembering some of the amusing scenes. I know I shouldn't. I can't help it, though the conscience prompts me that we Brits have a strange way of hiding our failings.

I ask Google about that sociological failure and learn that UK jails this year are sardined to the gills with 83,620 people - 79,750 men and 3,870 women, the equivalent of the population of the whole city of Weston-super-Mare. …  Continues on the blogs for my ocean sailing adventure book, Sailing to Purgatory, at SailingToPurgatory.com