THE MOST FRIGHTFUL NIGHT OF THE YEAR

Happy Halloween! The neighbourhood throbs with fireworks and ghostly figures scaring the pants - as in panting from a fright - from estate residents who smile at the little monsters, or turn off the lights with each chance for a trick or treat.

At the supermarket this afternoon, small monsters rushed passed trying to fit oversize pumpkins into seemingly undersized shopping trolleys. I thought I'd amuse them. 'Baked or boiled pumpkins for you, young man?' I asked one in a sort of shroud.

His mother laughed and the lad stumbled over a message he could hardly wait to get out. 'Why did the copper nab the 'alloweeny ghost?

'So 'cause like 'e didn't 'ave a ...' He jogged his mother's handbag for a prompt, then remembered. 'The ghost didn't 'ave a licence for 'unting.'

JUNIOR BATMAN

'Hauntin',' the lady said.

'Yea, an' that.' The little lad turned up the volume as an excited group of young Halloweeners joined us. A junior Batman shouted, 'What trees like 'alloween the most of all?'

The questioner couldn't wait for me to guess. 'Bam-BOO!' he shouted. 'An', an' what do witches put on their 'air? Scare spray!'

Continues on my blog for my not all that scary true life adventure story Sailing to Purgatory, here >>> SailingToPurgatory.com